Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Sometimes no matter how well you think you're doing you can get sidelined by insecurity. I went shopping yesterday because I don't have any "grown-up" clothes for school, especially spring clothes. I tried on some clothes at Old Navy which is usually a good store for me and it just wasn't working. Some of the clothes were too big others were too small but for some reason because the clothes didn't immediately fit I was devastated (I'm blaming this on being overly emotional due to hormones but still it's ridiculous).

I have always had a problem with my weight. I've had the typical issues that other girls have with hair and skin, etc. but that I feel is a little more "normal girl stuff" as opposed to my issues with weight that have been more dysfunctional. (aside: I got a new haircut that's making me more self-conscious but I'll get used to it). I'm not overweight, according to the Health Canada weight-for-height scales I'm on the high end of the normal weight ranges. I was a bit heavier when I was younger but still not that big. But for some reason I've always had issues with this. I came home from shoppig devastated and I get really disappointed in myself that it affects me that much. And then my feelins about this seep into how I feel about myself and all of my looks and my self-worth. Hence the mantra "I am a MENSA Supermodel" which was something I used to say to myself to make me feel better. I've gotten over my "body depression" but I'm still not happy with my body and it makes me sad that as feminist as I am it can bother me this much. Life Objective #352: Deal with my body dysmorphic disorder.